Another reason to avoid the wet spot

Orgasms since last entry: Four

Well, today I wanted to share some thoughts inspired by a website (entitled The Wet Spot) I ran across a little while ago, purporting to offer sex and relationship advice (mostly sex advice). Among various posts about how it's a good idea to not be overweight if you want to have good sex (Duh!), and so on, was this hum-dinger on the topic of why women don't date nice guys. Apparently it's all the man's fault...

Why indeed. I'm going to suggest that the problem here is not the women... You may not want to hear this my friend, but the real question here is why are you attracted to women who leave you for bad boys?

Sounds reasonable, right? Except for the fact that it puts the blame for relationship problems exclusively on the man (as always), and it displays a complete and utter ignorance of the role of evolutionary biology in shaping our reproductive strategies.

Let's get this straight. Women are attracted to men of high social status. Men who act like they can provide genetic material that will make their offsping survive. Nice guys do not convey this image - especially nice guys who try not to be pushy, who back out when the girl they're talking to shows any sign of reluctance, who try to provide the girl with a comfortable environment, to show that they are a friend, who's willing to stick around and help out with housework, raising children, and so on. Nope, the reason women run off with bad boys is because they're more fun, convey a sense of high social status related to their genetic fitness (they must have high-quality genes if they can afford to display risky behaviour, and still survive), and because they won't always be around to breed with - so if you want their genes you'd better get them NOW! By contrast the nice guys create the impression that they'll hang around forever hoping to "get lucky", so girls can afford to keep them waiting - often for years, or forever.

You'd get a much better sense of how males and females choose their partners (and usually it is the female who chooses the male, not vice versa) by avoiding The Wet Spot and listening to the advice of Dr Tatiana (which in itself is thoroughly educational, and could provide enough trivia to make you the centre of attention at the next party you attend. How's that for a pickup routine?).

I really have to feel sorry for the guy who posed the question that elicited this response. The poor fellow has probably gone away not only upset that he keeps losing girls to the bad boys, but thinking that it's all his fault.

Of course, men are attracted to women who convey a sense of excitement, mystery, and risk. But women are also attracted to men with the same characteristics. Putting the blame exclusively on the man is just unfair. And there's another thing women do which makes life hard for the nice guys. I was in a nightclub the other week and started chatting to a girl dancing in the corner behind me. Before I'd managed to get out three sentences, her friend started pulling the old "We're lesbians, stop chatting up my girlfriend" routine. I can only gather that she had no idea how ineffective these things are - and in fact counterproductive, because the very first group of men who are going to be put off by any form of resistence are... you guessed it, the non-pushy, non-threatening, nice guys! The very guys women say they want to meet, are the very first set of guys their "group defence" tactics drive away, leaving the field open for the pushy, arrogant bad-boys.